How to Identify Spiritualizing

Spiritualizing is one of the most damaging tactics used in harmful relationships because it distorts something deeply sacred.

It happens when someone takes spiritual beliefs, teachings, or texts—and twists them to control, harm, or avoid responsibility.

They may use scripture, appeal to religious leaders, or cite spiritual principles in a way that shuts down honest dialogue and makes you feel like you’re the one in the wrong for speaking up. The goal is to convince you that the divine—or your faith community—is on their side, and not yours.

This kind of manipulation leaves a deep wound. You’re not only working to heal from the harm of the relationship itself, but also from the confusion and pain around how you've been told the divine sees you.

Healing from this kind of spiritual distortion isn’t easy, but it is possible—and it’s a vital part of reclaiming your clarity, peace, and connection to what’s sacred and true.